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Apocalyptic Roadshow
by John Clancy

Production photo

Catherine Gillard and Nancy Walsh in a scene from Apocalyptic Road Show

Author: John Clancy

Description: A fierce, comic cabaret celebrating the end of the world.

Year Written/Copyrighted: 2011
Date Added: 7/23/2013
Content Advisory: Mature themes, very strong language
Keywords: Death and the Afterlife · Hell · Musical · Politics · Religion and Spirituality · Small Cast Size
1 Act, 65 Minutes
2 Females, 1 Male

NOTE: Apocalyptic Roadshow is fully protected by copyright law and is subject to royalty. All inquiries concerning production, publication, reprinting or use of this play in any form should be addressed to Rochelle at rd@indietheaternow.com.

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Original Production Information

Apocalyptic Road Show premiered at the Tron Theatre, Glasgow, Scotland, on October 5, 2011.  It was directed by Peter Clerke, lighting design by Kevin MacCallum, set and costume by Ali Maclaurin, production management by Camilla O’Neill and musical direction by Tim Brinkhurst.  All music and lyrics by Tim Brinkhurst. 

GDJET: Catherine Gillard
LULU: Nancy Walsh
TIM: Tim Brinkhurst

Excerpt from Apocalyptic Roadshow

TIM

Good evening. It’s a good night for an apocalypse. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage for your delectation and delight, your hosts Lulu and Gdjet!

(Curtains open to reveal GDJET and LULU, two women who could be veteran burlesque performers or two devious archangels in disguise, sitting on stools and smiling out.)

GDJET

Ladies and gentlemen, we’re so happy you could join us.

LULU

Especially tonight.

GDJET

Yes, it’s a big night, Lulu.

LULU

A very big night, Gdjet.

GDJET

You see, we’ve been following things out there, you’ve probably been doing the same.

LULU

It’s hard to miss, really.

GDJET

Every day there’s something new.

LULU

Earthquakes. Hurricanes.

GDJET

Tornados. Tsunamis.

LULU

Nuclear meltdowns.

GDJET

Global economic collapse. Recreational rioting.

LULU

Bird flu.

GDJET

Floods.

LULU

Famine.

GDJET

And more famine.

LULU

Suicide bombers.

GDJET

Mass murders.

LULU

Complete societal breakdown

GDJET

A permanent state of war.

LULU

People going mad.

GDJET

The end of civilization.

LULU

Strange days.

GDJET

Dark days.

LULU

End days.

GDJET

Nothing lasts forever.

LULU

Everything must go.

GDJET

Now, it seems that people have been predicting the end of the world ever since the world began.

LULU

The Mayans worked it out to end in 2012.

GDJET

Nostradamus had it all ending about ten years ago.

LULU

Some guy in California had it set for last week.

(They laugh and suddenly stop.)

GDJET

So we went to the Source.

LULU

The Book.

GDJET

We studied Revelations, cross-referenced it with Ezekiel, added up all of the begats and took into account Daylight Savings Time—

LULU

Which no else thought to do.

GDJET

Silly buggers.

LULU

And hold onto your seats, folks, because according to our calculations…

BOTH

Tonight’s the night!

GDJET

At approximately 9:15 PM, local time…

LULU

Roughly.

GDJET

Thereabouts.

LULU

Give or take a few minutes.

BOTH

Lights out!

GDJET

So, tonight we say goodbye.

LULU

Goodbye to all that.

GDJET

And hello to what’s next.

LULU

To the Rapture.

GDJET

To the End Days.

LULU

To the last big blow out.

BOTH

The End of the World!