Description: A play about existing now.

First Produced: 2012
Date Added: 2/14/2012
Content Advisory:
Keywords: Comedy  Pop culture  Satire/Parody  Characters are mostly young adults  Single Set  Social Issues  Gender and sexuality  Non-traditional/Non-narrative/Experimental/Post-dramatic  Postmodern  Mostly Female Characters  Small Cast Size 
1 Act, 90 Minutes
3 Females, 1 Male

NOTE: All the Indifferent Children of the Earth is fully protected by copyright law and is subject to royalty. All inquiries concerning production, publication, reprinting or use of this play in any form should be addressed to ericbland@gmail.com.

Original Production Information

All the Indifferent Children of the Earth will premiere in a production by the Old Kent Road Theater and The Brick Theater at The Brick Theater, Brooklyn, New York, on February 16, 2012, with the following cast and credits:

Daniel: Daniel Kublick
Hollis: Hollis Witherspoon
Kat: Kathleen Heverin
Sarah: Sarah Dahlen

Light Design – Morgan Anne Zipf
Technical Guru – Gavin Starr Kendall
Sculpture-Arts & Illustration – Abernathy Bland
Video Design & Video Direction – Asa Gauen
Text, Direction, & Choreography – Eric Bland

Excerpt from All the Indifferent Children of the Earth

(SARAH emerges from upstage-left with a water gun. An audio track of Che Guevara speaking plays overhead. SARAH hears it and crouches and stalks around the stage, reacting to it. Once this track ends, another track, a contemporary, hipster-esque pop song immediately begins. SARAH hears and absorbs this contrast. KAT appears in the upstage-left corner, looking upon SARAH. The track fades down to lightly underscore the scene until it concludes.)

KAT

(Eventually:) Gonna shoot that thing or just happy to see me?

(beat)

SARAH

…Uh?

KAT

Does that thing come with a side of fries or is it just…everybody loves Raymond?

SARAH

Oh I don’t really know what you’re really weirding me out girl.

KAT

No, halt—are you gonna buy something or are you just looking around…with that thing?

SARAH

(pause) Yyyy…yes. (beat) What?

(KAT kneels down, hands to her head. SARAH begins to arrange the room, bringing on blocks to sit on, and also bringing on a stuffed cat made by Abernathy Bland.)

KAT

Oh my God I’m so depressed. I’m so stupid. My cat died like three years ago and I’m not even over that. Fuck. Don’t, please, I’m sorry. I don’t even wanna…I’m like king, like queen…of making a fool of myself.

SARAH

No you’re not. Cats are amazing.

KAT

Are you in a relationship? (beat) I am. How’s it going? (beat) No not yours, mine. It’s going fine; it’s going well; I’m sure I’ll fuck it up.

SARAH

Men are very difficult.

KAT

So is Joan. (beat) But yeah, men are, very, they are difficult. Women really ruined everything the day they admitted men are difficult. In the Middle Ages maybe. Why’d we do that?

(SARAH puts her gun down.)

SARAH

I don’t know, something about the formation of the modern nation state and states of emergency. The ensuing separation of the economic from the political. All that…historiography. Hey I know Joan. She nice beans, right?

KAT

Joan good beans, yep. She’s an emerging choreographer. She’s working with Who-Ha Beanie-Bean-Pole, helping her carry her dance-pants to rehearsal for Whatsa-ma-biscuit in the new-fall-annual-sheep-show. Quality, cuz. (beat) Oh my God, I ate three bagels this morning. The sun came up and it was so bright and emergent and I had such incredible hope for my future…and then I fucking ate three bagels. I told myself, “No worries, you just had breakfast, lunch, and half of dinner in one fell swoop.” But then one-o’clock found me in line at Chipotle, where I heard myself saying: “Could you please put more guacamole on that?”

(SARAH takes make-up out of her knapsack. She will begin to put some eye shadow, etc, carefully onto KAT’s face.)

SARAH

Hold still, Baby Cakes.