Description: Two women realize the importance of friendship through a random blind date, GI Joe tarot cards, and a couple vodka sodas.

First Produced: 2010
Date Added: 11/4/2011
Content Advisory:
Keywords: Comedy  Drama  Characters are mostly young adults  Single Set  Small Cast Size 
1 Act, 60 Minutes
2 Females, 1 Male

NOTE: G.I. Joe Jared, Based on One Really Bad Date is fully protected by copyright law and is subject to royalty. All inquiries concerning production, publication, reprinting or use of this play in any form should be addressed to Rochelle at rd@indietheaternow.com.

Original Production Information

G.I. Joe Jared, Based on One Really Bad Date was first presented by Manhattan Repertory Theatre (Ken Wolf, Artistic Director), in association with aWe Creative Group (Amy E. Witting, Artistic Director) on January 20, 2010, at Manhattan Repertory Theatre, New York City with the following cast and credits:

Jared: Billy Weimer
Julie: Kerry Fitzgibbons
Susan: Salomé M. Krell

Director: Amy E. Witting
Stage Manager: Kim Braun

The play was presented as part of the East to Edinburgh Festival at 59E59, New York City, in July 2011, with the following cast and credits:

Jared: Billy Weimer
Julie: Kerry Fitzgibbons
Susan: Tiffany May McRae

Director: Amy E. Witting
Stage Manager: Bethany Briggs

Review by Martin Denton

G.I. Joe Jared, Amy E. Witting's delightful new one-act comedy, is one of those shows that leaves you feeling fulfilled, happy, and uplifted. Presented at the tiny Manhattan Repertory Theatre as part of their Winterfest 2010, where it will play just three performances, it's a piece that deserves a long run and a larger home. I will certainly be watching for new plays featuring Witting and her excellent collaborators.

This play takes place in Annie Moore's, a pub halfway between Grand Central Station and Bryant Park. In a pre-show scene while the audience is taking their seats, Susan is already waiting at her table, drinks for herself and the friend she's expecting on the table, checking her cell and occasionally mouthing the lyrics to the all-Neil Diamond soundtrack that's playing on the speakers. Salome M. Krell does a remarkable job convincing us of the reality of this situation; her skill cues us into what's happening (and sets a high standard for acting that's never broken throughout the play).

As the lights go down, the play proper begins with the entrance of Julie (Kerry Fitzgibbons). She and Susan, we discover, are longtime friends (since at least freshman year of college), and they're meeting here for a girls' night out. In dialogue that's as natural as walking, we learn that Susan lives with a guy named Phil, while Julie's two-year relationship with Michael recently came to a sad end. There's clearly strain between the two women, and we infer that what happened with Michael is likely at the root of it.

But things take a more cheerful turn when Julie discloses that there is a new man in her life. (Actually, Susan pretty much forces the information out of Julie, because Julie keeps texting somebody while Susan is trying to talk to her.) Eventually Julie provides some details: his name is Jared, he's 6'1" and supposedly looks like Joey Catalano; he's from West Virginia, newly moved to NYC to pursue his art, though he's currently working at an electronics store in Union Square.

Susan is veeeerry skeptical, but Julie is feeling good about this positive step she's taking to re-enter the dating pool. And then Julie gets a text message from Jared: he's in the area and would she like to meet him (for the first time) in about five minutes? She says yes, and G.I. Joe Jared really starts to pick up steam. It's one of those tall tales that feels completely true, because life in New York City is so full of the absolutely off-the-wall and unexpected.

I don't want to give too much more away, because Witting has delicious, fun surprises in store once Jared arrives on the scene. I don't think I'm telling you too much when I say that Jared is no Joey Catalano lookalike (and he's not six feet tall). And the "art" that he came to the Big Apple to do is not exactly painting or sculpture. (There is a connection to the play's title, but I will reveal nothing more.)

The arc of the play is ultimately tender and touching; Witting doesn't just give us a funny comedy sketch here (though the play is hilarious in places) but rather a fully-formed drama about two friends moving steps ahead in their lives together and separately. Witting's staging, on the simplest of sets, matches her intelligent and insightful writing note for note. All three actors—the aforementioned Krell, Kerry Fitzgibbons as Julie, and Billy Weimer as Jared—deliver outstanding performances, creating people who feel quirky yet real. The chemistry between Krell and Fitzgibbons is terrific; we believe from the very first moment they are together that they are old friends with a long history. And Weimer makes Jared the funniest comic creation I've encountered on stage since last fall's The Hypochrondriac.

I sincerely hope to see more of all of these artists, and of G.I. Joe Jared. This is a play that deserves a broad audience, because it's smart, moving, and a great deal of fun.

reviewed at Winterfest 2010

Excerpt from G.I. Joe Jared, Based on One Really Bad Date

SUSAN

Jared, what are you carrying in this box of yours? It seems like something you’re very protective about. I noticed you holding onto it when you walked in.

JARED

I sometimes like to carry it around. It’s my masterpiece.

JULIE

A painting?

JARED

No, not exactly.

SUSAN

Can I look?

(SUSAN goes to open the box, and JARED pushes her hand away.)

JARED

Please don’t touch!

SUSAN

Is it alive?

JARED

No.

JULIE

So what is it?

JARED

My G.I. Joe tarot cards.

SUSAN

Excuse me?

JULIE

What’s in it?

JARED

G.I. Joe tarot cards.

SUSAN

G.I. Joe tarot cards?

JARED

I told you about them, Julie.

JULIE

Oh. I thought that was a joke. I guess.

JARED

I’ve been collecting the backs of G.I. Joe figures for years. I came up with this idea about ten years ago, to make tarot cards out of them.

SUSAN

So you’re a fortune teller?

JARED

I guess. Kind of. I mean people tell me I’m right on target with my readings. They really do work.

JULIE

Tarot cards. That’s cool.

SUSAN

Why do you carry the box around with you?

JARED

Well, I told Julie about them, and I thought she might like to see them.

JULIE

But you didn’t know we were going to be meeting up.

SUSAN

(Quietly to JULIE.) Do you want me to get the bartender?

JULIE

No.

JARED

I had a feeling when I left my house this morning that this meeting might happen.

SUSAN

A feeling? So you’re clairvoyant?

JULIE

Oh.

SUSAN

You didn’t tell me about this! Jules, this is a huge deal! Can you read our fortunes?

JULIE

That’s okay, Jared, you don’t have to.

JARED

I would love to!

JULIE

What are they exactly?

JARED

Each G.I. Joe figure comes with a trading card, they are usually found on the back of the packaging. I’ve been carefully cutting them out, laminating them, and preserving them for moments like these. I now have five complete decks.

JULIE

Wow, that’s a lot of G.I. Joe cards.

SUSAN

I bet Cobra Commander equals death.

JARED

He is more of a negative card. It brings negative energy, which makes sense because it is Cobra Commander.

JULIE

I thought the Cobra Commander was a good guy?

JARED

Not really.

SUSAN

Not really? Not really at all! Julie, where have you been? Didn’t you ever play G.I. Joes?

JULIE

Only child.

JARED

Some of my friends think I really should market this. They said it could really catch on so I like to carry them with me. This is the original set. I have a copy at home, but I thought you might like to see the original set.

(JARED unpacks the deck of cards and opens up a folded piece of paper.)

SUSAN

Is that a cheat sheet?

(SUSAN goes to touch the cards, but JARED quickly moves them away.)

JARED

Don’t touch them!

SUSAN

I’m sorry. Why?

JARED

Only the owner of the cards can touch them, or they won’t work.

SUSAN

Crazy.

JULIE

Thanks for bringing them, that’s really nice of you to share.

SUSAN

How long did it take you to make them?

JARED

I’ve spent years perfecting each card. This is not a cheat sheet because I don’t know what card will come up. That is up to fate. And than I just read accordingly and it’s very accurate.

JULIE

You’ve done this before?

JARED

All the time. Most girls can’t get over how right I am.

SUSAN

I bet you’re a real ladies’ man.

JULIE

Susan!

JARED

Julie, I would love to take this opportunity to read your fortune. I’ve wanted to do it so many times.

SUSAN

I’m sure you have.

JARED

(To JULIE.) But you don’t get an accurate read unless you’re sitting across from the person you are reading.

JULIE

I don’t know.

SUSAN

Read mine! Please?

JULIE

Jared, you really don’t have to. Do you want something to eat? Are you hungry?

SUSAN

We could order chicken fingers!

JARED

I think it’s better if we hold off on ordering food, because the grease from the chicken fingers could potentially damage the cards.

SUSAN

Of course.